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Letting Him Down Gently…….

Sunshine On A Cloudy Daywm2800
As you all know, I posted last week that we were waiting to hear about the travel soccer tryouts. Nick really had his hopes up and honestly thought he would make the team…….low and behold, Sunday night, we got the call…..and it was not good news.

Unlike last year when we got the call, he was not with me, so I kept it to myself as long as I could, but had to tell him before he went to school on Monday.

How do you tell your child something that you know is going to break their heart? There is no easy way….. I was sick to my stomach at the thought of it and was searching for the words to let him down gently.

We had many conversations with him trying to prepare him for such news. I knew even though he said he could take the rejection, that he would be crushed if he was not chosen for the team.

I decided to get him out of the house to tell him. We went for a long walk down by a peaceful little creek that he loves to wade around in. When I first told him, he handled it pretty well, but then he started to get real quiet and he stopped talking and I knew the emotions were about to come pouring out….and they did.

We made our way through the tears, but I wanted something positive to come out of this experience. You know that saying about not putting all your eggs in one basket? Well, I explained to him that while he can continue to play soccer at an intramural level, he might want to consider doing something else that he enjoys. By the time we got home, he was searching the internet for summer art classes and possibly music lessons.

In the end, I know that this is all part of life and growing up, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is still my baby that I want to protect and shield from the pain of rejection.

Vintage Nickwm800
Tomorrow is his last day of school…..summer officially begins at 10am when the school doors fling open and the children come pouring out with big smiles on their faces. We are looking forward to a summer filled with fun and new beginnings. I always say, when something bad happens, somthing good always comes out of it!! We are in search of the good this summer:)

A special thanks to everyone who left me comments on the last post. Your stories and words meant so much to me. We are all human and no matter how hard we try, our eyes cannot be on them every second of every day.

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  • Courtney - This is a beautiful post. You are such a wonderful mother and you handled this situation perfectly!ReplyCancel

  • Marla - Awwwww, I’m so sorry for NIck! What a sweet mommy you are though, it sounds like you handled giving him the news just perfectly. Can’t wait to hear about his art and music.

    Wahoo for the last day of school!! :)ReplyCancel

  • Gail - This is written from the heart and with such love for your Nick. The hardest part of being a mom (for me) is seeing my children disappointed when they’ve worked so hard for something.
    You are an amazing mom Lisa. He’ll be okay, it just takes a little time.

    hugs to you friend! And come on summer!ReplyCancel

  • Marla - I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful summer.I know he’ll be great at what ever he does because he has one proud mamma behind him.ReplyCancel

  • Robin - Thank you for sharing… {{hugs}}ReplyCancel

  • Colleen - {{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I have been through this with my boys and it’s very hard that I know. I am very proud of Nick for opening up new doors. My son Kenny had to learn to follow a different path then his brothers and it was the best decision he ever made!!!!! Kenny is my theater major. By going a different path and finding something that he could shine in has given Kenny so much confidence.
    Kenny will be leaving for DC in July to compete in a Shakespeare competition that he was invited to participate in.
    If Nick ever wants to talk to a big guy who has gone through similar circumstances…Kenny would be happy to talk to Nick : )ReplyCancel

  • Love Letters To China - Your children are very lucky to have such a wonderful and caring mother as you.ReplyCancel

  • Patricia/NYC - Ahhhh…you handled this situation beautifully!! I pray I handle it with as much grace & love as you did, when disappointment strikes here.

    And you are so right…when a door closes, a window opens…here’s to a summer filled with new beginnings & adventures for Nick!

    You are such an awesome mom!!ReplyCancel

  • Denise - This post made me cry. We had the same thing happen with Garrett last year with baseball..it was hard, but he picked himself up and tried out for track and he loves it! I am sure that Nick will find something else. You handled it so well my friend…hugs~ReplyCancel

  • Tisha - Lisa,

    Those are some of the most beautiful pictures I have seen you take of Nick. I’m sorry to you had to deliver such difficult news. It sounds like you handled it the best way you could. It is never easy to see our children suffering. I pray that this disappointment will guide him into something that might be his true destiny!

    Blessings,
    TishaReplyCancel

  • Sandra - Even though these things are hard, they are life lessons that our kids need to learn. I think you handled this situation perfectly. Yeah for the last day of school!ReplyCancel

  • Jodee Leader - Lisa — You handled this situation perfectly! Nick is sooo blessed to have a Mommy like you!

    I love these pictures too!ReplyCancel

  • jiangxigirls - Big hugs to you both! I am so sorry that he has to deal with this at his age. You handled it just perfectly. Can’t wait to hear about the new opportunities he seeks.

    Hugs!ReplyCancel

  • Isabella's Mommy and Daddy - I sooo know how it feels when you baby doesn’t get what they want.. KyLee went to the ortho yesterday and she soooo thought she would get her braces off.. and when he told her no and she had to wear 5 rubberbands for 12 hours a day.. she started crying.. I felt sooo bad… she will get them off on Aug4 but she has to wear the bands or she won’t be able too.. it was soo heartbreaking..

    Nick will find something else , that he will fall in love with.. it hurts us more then them I think..
    Have a great summer..
    Hugs..ReplyCancel

  • Lisa (Briana's Mom) - Oh no – I was so hoping he would make the team. I think you handled telling him perfectly.

    I definitely think this might be an opportunity for him to explore something else.

    I wish I could protect Briana 24/7 and I know I can’t. Briana has a very sensitive heart. I am not sure how well she will handle something like this – or me for that matter.ReplyCancel

  • jenbusymom - Poor Nick, I totally get you on the heartbreak you feel for them, you just wish you could put yourself up as their shield and take all the pain for them. But, unfortunately, you can’t and they have to learn their own life lessons, it’s all part of growing up. Well hopefully he’ll find something something else great that he can excel in.ReplyCancel

  • Jboo - It is hard to shield them from disappointment. You did a wonderful job telling him.

    Does he like tennis? It’s a great sport and both individual and a team sport. My boys loved it and, of course, it’s a sport they can play their whole lives. Take care. Have a wonderful summer vacay Nick!

    JanetReplyCancel

  • kerri - So sorry Nick.
    So difficult to see our children filled with disappointment when they get their hopes up. You handled the situation beautifully.
    I know Nick will have a fantastic Summer what ever he chooses to do.ReplyCancel

  • Aspiemom - I think you handled this perfectly, Lisa. It sounds like he is handling it well, also.ReplyCancel

  • The Things We Carried - You are such a good mama. You are right, these lessons in life train our kids to be compassionate, kinder, accept losing, accept changing paths sometimes, but they are sure not what we mamas would choose!

    BTW Nick is a gorgeous boy! How handsome he is.ReplyCancel

  • Missy - You know how I feel…love you guys!ReplyCancel

  • delucchi family - Oh my what a trial and so soon after the last one! Sucks when they dont get chosen for a team. With three boys myself my heart is there with you.
    Love the pics and the serious look.
    Love JulesReplyCancel

  • Jo - This is such a hard life lesson. Sometimes I think it’s almost harder on the parent. We too have been through our share {and survived} of these moments. It does strengthen the family bond when you go through it together. He will bounce back and amazing will blossom in a new area.

    Hang in there ~
    JoReplyCancel

  • Sharie - Oh I saw the title and my heart sank…I have not had to go through this with Amelia yet, but it’s so hard for me even with nieces and nephews and kids I’ve mentored…it’s such a hard lesson and no matter how old we get it never seems to get easier.
    You are a wonderful mom taking him out to give him time to think and reflect and not have to worry about everyone else.
    I’m sure he’ll find something to do this summer that he will truly enjoy!ReplyCancel

  • Catherine - Sorry to hear about the soccer team. News like this is never easy. So happy that you have a tender heart mom and were cautious of his heart too. Hope new adventures arrive for him this summer that he may not have been able to experience if he was traveling for soccer.ReplyCancel

  • a Tonggu Momma - Heck, I can barely shield MYSELF from disappointment. I think you handled it so lovingly. And I just caught up with your last post – that could totally happen to anyone. Deep breaths and remember that you ARE an excellent momma.ReplyCancel

  • Felicia - I feel so bad for Nick but how exciting to check out some new interests. I think he’s going to have a great summer!ReplyCancel

  • Wanda - What wisdom and tenderness you show. And Nick shows such resilience to be open to new activities so soon after his disappointing news. Good for him!

    Enjoy your summer!ReplyCancel

  • Jeni - He is lucky to have you for a mom. We do want the best for them. Good going on helping him look past it and on to something else. Have fun tomorrow….PARTY!ReplyCancel

  • Kayce - You are such an amazing mom Lisa. Nick is so lucky to have you! I hope his last day is great and the summer ahead is even better. Lots of hugs to you both.ReplyCancel

  • Robin - I know that was hard for both of you. Sounds like he has a plan in place to find somethong even better!!

    Here’s to a WONDERFUL summer!!!

    Blessings,
    RobinReplyCancel

  • Alicia W. - This is one of the many things I’m not looking fwd to when my children get older. It breaks my heart to see them upset in anyway. I’m so sorry for your sweet Nick. Their is always next year and he will blow them out the water with his talent.ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - You are such a good mommy Lisa! You handled this situation so well. I’m so sorry that he didn’t make the team but I’m so happy that he is going to find another hobby to focus on.ReplyCancel

  • Sherri - Oh, I feel so bad for Nick. Life lessons are not always easy but disappointment like that is hard to take.

    I’m sorry you had to tell him the bad news.

    Happy summer! Hopefully that will cheer up the poor guy!ReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I’m so sorry to hear he didn’t make the team. I just know he will excel in so many other things, and maybe something he finds he loves much more!! (I know it’s so hard for him to understand that now.)

    BTW, are you taking reservations for the barn across the street? It sure makes the perfect setting for pics of handsome Nick.ReplyCancel

  • Kam - Oh Lisa, that is so hard. It stinks, doesn’t it? You just want them to never, ever hurt. But it will serve him well someday I’m sure. Hang in there…you’re such a great mom! 😀ReplyCancel

  • The Byrd's Nest - Oh poo….I remember these times so well with our older children. You handled this so wonderfully and it sounds like he did also.

    As a side note I just want to offer this. Our daughter Elisabeth played soccer with very competetive travelling soccer teams from the time she was 11-14. Because of the harsh competition between other teams and even her own teammates we noticed her self esteem was dwindling down at a very quick rate of speed. I know not all children react to these things like my daughter did but she had a tender heart and also a passion to play soccer. I know how much he really wanted this because I remember with Elisabeth…but maybe this is a blessing and he can do something like art or music that will only build on his self esteem he already has and make him a more confident adult later in life. Just wanted to share our experience with you. Big hugs.ReplyCancel

  • Leslie - This post makes me so sad for Nick and you. I know it had to break your heart to tell Nick that sad news. I hope I’ll be a wonderful and supportive mom as you are, as my girls grow up.

    You are such a great mom Lisa.
    Have a great weekend.ReplyCancel

  • Life with Kaishon - My heart breaks for him! I love that he is going to do art classes though : ). That will be so fun!ReplyCancel

  • Number 6 and no more counting! - I understand completely what you went through on this one Lisa. I am so sorry that you both had to face this.

    Here is to what summer has in store for your handsome boy.

    Lea
    xoReplyCancel

  • carolinagirl - I am so sorry that you had to deliver the news to Nick. I am a firm believer that you almost always learn more from disappointment and hardship than from things that come easily. Something GOOD will come of this. I know it!ReplyCancel

  • Alyson and Ford - Wonderful post; great Mom!
    Love the photos; your skill is amazing!

    Alyzabeth’s Mommy for NINE Months!ReplyCancel

  • Jennifer - Oh Lisa! I feel so bad for Nick and you. I was realling hoping he would make it! Even said a prayer or too.You did a great job of helping him through it, but I know as a Mom seeing our children hurt or disappointed is devasting! Hopr he finds a new thing for the summer to make him smile!

    JenReplyCancel

  • Heather - Awww, Lisa, this post absolutely touched my soul. What a precious son you have and how blessed that he has a mommy who approaches everything with such love and unconditional respect. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story. Whatever other baskets Nick chooses, he will be so happy to have stretched himself in many areas!

    Love,
    HeatherReplyCancel

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